As i sit here typing with one hand i am experiencing pain.
You see this morning i went for a casual/routine ride at one of the easier trails and ended up 3 hrs later at the emergency department of my local hospital. How you ask? Combination of various things i answer. The section which caused the damage isn’t techy. I have ridden it many times and recently it got dummed down even more. Climbing a few step like rocks i moved my body way too forward *as i am often tempted to do on a single speed* and ran into a small root. The combination of my weight bias on the bike and rigid fork meant instant human catapult action. Normally this isn’t an issue. i have fallen this way many times and have always broke my fall with both hands. In this instance however i managed to land on my unextended left elbow. It was a hard blow even for my body weight. I heard a “snap” and that was that.
A few hours later, a couple of x-rays and the usual host of needles and drips and i was shown my x-ray. Apparently i broke the part of the elbow which is attached to my muscles clean off. Nice…..
I had a lot of thinking time in the hospital and a lot of different things went through my mind. How long will it take for me to recover? Am i going to lose fitness? Am i going to be a pussy now? Which trainer tyres should i run? Why did i ride this morning? How will i fap now? how will i make my loved ones not worry as much? As you can see all very valid questions and very justified too. However one thought that stuck with me was me not being able to race at the mont with my mates and other events within 8 weeks. This thought consumed me and i was honestly very disappointed.
I can see why people that have a hurdle in life want to comeback even stronger than before no matter the tears they will face. Like Lance Armstrong after his cancer. Like a paralysed person trying to walk again. Like Kayne west trying to rebuild his namesake after his outburst *ok maybe not kayne*. It’s kinda like a middle finger to fate, destiny and all that other stuff. I can honestly say that i will try my darned hardest to keep my fitness so when i am back in 8 weeks i will be faster and fitter than before.
As i sit here typing with one hand i am experiencing pain. The pain is not from the fall. It certainly isn’t from the needles. All of that pain i can take. The only pain i feel is to miss what i love doing for 8 weeks and maybe more. However like people that have being in an inconvenient situation before me i will take this negative energy and make it work for me.
This was me before i realised this.
This is me now once i see the light.